Poor Kevin, he does seem to have been in the wars with all his mad cap ways. I’ll just tell you about this other one that he did as it amused me. He went to the dentists, ours is very covid conscious, so much so that he got himself into a right muddle, the poor lad.
You have to ring the bell to be let into the small isolated entrance, before you go into the actual dentists reception. They have a table there with all the stuff to help keep everyone germ free. There’s disinfectant to put on your hands, tissue paper to get any left-over wetness off and all the usual things.
I think he must have been feverish himself or something, judging by what he thought of a gadget on the table. Kevin asked the receptionist if it was something to take your temperature with, to be told that it was the doorbell that tended to drop off when it rains. He told us he blushed to the roots of his hair with embarrassment. The receptionist no doubt had a good laugh too, we certainly did.
Speaking of which, Jane and Kevin have had their invites to go for their first covid jab. Now you know for sure that we are all crackpots in our house, as Jane got so excited to be having one. Odd or what!
Not So Mad Cap Ways – But Jake the Peg!
I’ve been in the wars too as my arthritis has given me what-for this last couple of weeks.
My left knee has been particularly affected with pain. I hope no one else has it as bad as this, it’s agony. Being used to pain, and having a reasonably high pain-threshold, I’m just trying to get on with it while hoping it soon subsides.
I’ve had quite a few laughs too, having said that. You don’t realise how much you depend on your body to function normally to make life easy until it doesn’t. I’ve certainly found that things that you take for granted are no longer easy to do. I’ve had to adapt my ways of doing things in order to cope.Â
For a start, I can’t bend the blooming thing without screaming my head off, and getting alarmed looks from my lot. It’s like a dagger being pushed into the knee joint that’s being turned and turned. It’s horrible, so I’ve been merrily hobbling all over the house with a stiff leg like Jake the Peg.
Me and my wooden leg…
Of course we live upstairs, and what a pain that is, going upstairs like peg-leg the pirate. I’m banging my stiff leg down while the other one catches up. It’s a slow and laborious job, not for the faint hearted I can tell you. I only want a parrot on my shoulder and I’d look like Long John Silver, not helped by my lot singing ‘Jake the Peg’ every time they see me hobbling about!
I could do with chopping it off and having a wooden leg, I can tell you. I have to sit at the kitchen table to prepare food instead of standing, which is what I usually do, and that’s annoying in itself. But the fun starts when I try to have a bath. Have you ever tried having a bath with one leg completely out of action? Not only that, it’s very painful so the other leg is having to bear all my weight, it’s not an easy thing to do. Well I wouldn’t recommend it as a new way to get in a bath, it’s a wonder I haven’t knocked myself out.
Mad cap ways of getting in the bath!
First I have to hold my leg in a stiff position then lift it up like a lump of dead wood. Well it might as well be, for what use it is. Then I have to get it over the edge, followed by the other. And to get down into the bath, I go like of a beached whale, with a tidal wave of water going all over the place. Ah the bliss though, of a lovely hot bath.
We do have a separate shower, but I don’t use that. The minute that water hits me, I start gasping like a fish out of water and can’t breathe. Weird I know, but weird is not unusual in our house!
The fun starts again when I have to stand up and do the process in reverse to get out of the bath. Of course this time with a very wet body. I put the towel on the edge of the bath, having first dried my body standing up in the bath. But oh, the fun, trying to get a soggy wet, painful leg over the edge of the bath. It’s a whole lot different, I can tell you.
However, needs must, so I try to hold it rigid, in between a lot of yelling with the pain and some cursing. Then because I have to, I get hold of it and sort of straight-legged try to get out of the bath, which is not easy to say the least. Next, I stand on my better leg to get it over the bath edge. I will say that I didn’t realise how high our bath is and how small I am until it became so difficult!
Who’s being murdered?
Going to bed is also a bit of a laugh and another of my new mad cap ways.
Have you ever tried getting into bed with one very straight leg and getting under the sheets? Well that’s not easy either. I have to just about pull all the bedding off which I learnt after a few attempts. With people passing wanting to know who was being murdered! I couldn’t possibly bend my leg as you would normally do, unless I wanted to end up in hospital with a broken leg!
Anyway I soon devised my own method of doing it. I throw myself onto the bed and lie full length with the bedding lost in space. I pull my useless leg into the bed at the same time as you do normally. But I can’t pull myself into the bed to sit up, due to pain in my shoulder joints.
Eventually I manage it with a lot of yelling (and I can stand pain normally). But when I wanted to go to sleep, wriggling down the bed was nearly impossible, as I tried to push myself down without screaming my head off. I wasn’t madly comfy but I had to make the best of it or hope for the best!
This is just a light hearted look at our mad cap ways and life in our house to try and make someone smile instead of all the gloomy covid carry-on. I’m waiting for the day when we can all be normal again and hopefully my leg will have eased by then – or else!!
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