We had a bit of (another) daft Kevin day on Friday. I think he must have lost the plot altogether, or his mind wasn’t on what he was doing, as I will tell you in a minute. There’s one thing for sure, you need to watch out, Kevin’s About!
Family Bakery, Watch Out, Kevin’s About!
We shop at the Family bakery on a Friday and have got to know the staff very well, especially two of the lovely ladies who serve in the shop side. As a result we’ve always had a laugh and a joke with them, and often had the shop in uproar pre-covid. Kevin’s only been going in because of covid, but one thing’s led to another and he’s carried on where we left off.
Last week, they were full throttle into chattering as they finished serving him. Kevin turns round to go out of the door, when they all started laughing their heads off at him. He was walking out without paying, the shoplifter! (He’s not really he just forgot). We keep saying that it’s a wonder that he knows his own name!
A bright red face followed, which made them laugh even more, when he turned round and realised that he was waltzing out of the shop with free food. I could imagine him too as he is so absent minded, all the time. He did pay for it if you are wondering!
Poundland, Watch Out, Kevin’s About!
Then he went to Poundland, and another shopping experience under his belt. He was telling us such a story when he came home.
He said he was looking for something, I know now but didn’t at the time! You know where the fridges are? Well he went towards them, where a woman wearing a name badge was busy taking out many bottles of milk. She carried on filling her trolley, while Kevin politely and patiently waited against her.
She turned round and asked if wanted a bottle of milk, while handing one to him. He said ‘no thanks’ so she went back to her filling up. The poor woman must have thought she was talking to the local nutter. Although she might have a point if she did, in the nicest possible way of course. He is such a polite lad at the best of times and courteous. It turned out that as she was busy emptying the fridge, he thought she was a member of staff, and he wanted to ask her where the ‘something’ was.
Do you work here?
By this time, I would have been wondering what ‘the man’ (Kevin) was up to. He duly told her he was looking for something and did she know where it was? To which she pointed to the end of the shop. By this time she’d stood up and set off to the back of the shop with Kevin following her. He thought that, being a member of staff, she was taking him there.
She wasn’t!
The poor thing must have thought she’d got herself a stalker who was following her. She turned round and said ‘can I help you with something’ whereas I would probably have asked why I was being followed, especially after being stared at for so long by the fridge as well.
Anyway, our Kevin still hadn’t finished. He then looked at her name badge, then looked her in the eye. Back to the badge and then in the eye again a few times, before he told her he thought to himself ‘she’s a member of staff’. It’s a shame he didn’t say it as she stared back as though he was a lunatic. Eventually he left the poor woman standing there and carried on with his shopping.
I think by that time he’d had enough of the place and decided to get out and put all the things in his basket back on the shelves, so off he went.
Ooh Betty!
Meanwhile a security guard was watching him with an eagle eye, no doubt thinking he was acting strangely. When Kevin noticed him giving him the eagle eye, he said to him in his best Frank Spencer voice that ‘he was putting things back’ then said to the guard while holding something in his hand ‘I’ll put that back then’ followed by ‘OK’. Again, according to him, all delivered in his best guilty, squeaky voice, sounding even more like Frank when he was off on-one in his comedies. If you’d seen the actions that he did when he showed us what he was doing, we were in tucks of laughter, it was so like him.
So then he shot out of the shop, thankful ‘his collar hadn’t been felt’ as they say on TV crime dramas. So if anyone hears about a shoplifter and stalker look no further, he’s here! We said it’s only a matter of time before he gets arrested!!
It gave us all a good laugh I must say. As he was demonstrating all this he couldn’t tell us for laughing, what a lad he is that’s for sure.
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