Tubular Bandages, the title of today’s blog, reminds me of the 70’s album ‘Tubular Bells’! But before I get to that, as is my way, a word about the weather.
The wind has dropped but yesterday coincided with a very high tide, over 10 metres I believe. To people inland or don’t know what that means, it’s very high. About as high as it gets.
I was watching it from our lounge and even after all these years, I’m still fascinated by how near to us it is – just the road width away. It amazes me how it stops there, especially when you see great big waves breaking right in front of you. It’s an amazing place to be, as long as it always stops there!
The road has been closed off, but someone moved the middle barrier so they could get across. The tide is coming onto the road as it often does, so why people want to sit in their cars in it is a mystery to me. Imagine the salt on the cars! Anyway, that’s the weather forecast put to rights. It does fascinate me I must say, especially when they manage to get it so consistently wrong!
Tubular Bandages
Anyway now we’ve done the weather, back to our house and its mad ways.
I’ve had particularly bad knees all week so decided to get some new elastic tubular bandages. The fun started when I tried to put them on.
Obviously I bought the knee ones and when I took them out of their boxes, with the length of them it looked like I could have completely covered my body. Like a mummy, the Egyptian sort, as they seemed to go on forever.
I sat on the kitchen chair, rolled my trousers up and off I went trying to put them on.
Of course dopey me tried to pull it up in one piece, with my face getting redder and redder. Well, have you ever tried pulling them on yourself? It’s a bit like trying to put a sausage in a skin, only they are easier! I tugged and pulled and then some, before Jane came to my rescue.
Of course, it was ‘oh mum, really, what are you like’ all said as she pulled my stocking unceremoniously off my lower leg in two seconds (my lower calf was as far as I could pull it, what with knees and hands being a pain in the neck). And it had taken all that time to get it on, I ask you!
Anyway, she gave me a lesson in how to do it, by first turning the bandage inside on itself which obviously immediately shortened it. Then she started pulling and tugging.
Kitchen waltz
Guess what. I was sitting on the kitchen chair on the tiled floor and started moving steadily towards the kitchen window. ‘Wow’, I thought, ‘I’m getting a fairground ride thrown in as well as a tutorial, aren’t I lucky’.
This image of Jane and I waltzing around the kitchen floor in her efforts to put the tubular bandages on my leg went through my mind. But after a few more tiles had been covered, I came to a stop as she got the first one on.
It was a bit like playing seated hopscotch if you know what I mean. But eventually, in between a lot of laughing, we managed to get the deed done. Jane said it was so tight because they were new and I did manage to put it on myself the second time, so there’s hope for me yet!
Toilet Rolls
Changing the subject completely, as it was raining heavy on Tuesday morning and Jane had her usual banging headache, she volunteered the hubbies to go to the supermarket instead of us. Wasn’t that kind of her. Although they didn’t get a choice in the matter!
Off they went after lunch. Although it wasn’t raining when they went (but was on the way back) they decided to go to Sainsbury’s in Blackpool as you can shop undercover without getting wet. That was their excuse, or shall I say Kevin’s, as he wanted some new slippers. So off they went to get ready.
All of a sudden, Kevin came into the living room with a white hard hat on his head, a handkerchief tied around his face and a toilet roll hanging on a piece of string from his neck! That was all in case he met the coronavirus in Sainsbury’s!
Tickets please…
We were helpless with laughing at him, especially when he started winding it down and he looked just like the clippies they used to have on the buses in the olden days. Remember when they had a machine strapped crosswise on their bodies and they gave you a ticket while winding the machine just as he was.
As you can tell, he was having a joke at the expense of all the panic buying. They got some toilet rolls just like we do every week, and the three different lots of cereals that we usually buy. He did say the toilet roll shelf was almost empty, but it does puzzle me as to how there is such a panic on them. What is it about toilet rolls specifically that gets everybody in a tizzy? Maybe we will find out when it has finished!
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