Did you see the tortoise who’s been on Judge Rinder? Yes, I’m not making it up, it’s been on TV. It seems that a very naughty tortoise has been causing lots of trouble where he lives. Having had a tortoise in my youth, I did wonder how on earth a tortoise could run riot in someone’s house. They aren’t exactly speedy, although don’t think they are that slow as they can run like mad when they need to.
Anyway, this particular offender has lived at his present address for six years and run the house with a reign of terror. He was invited to appear on the judge Rinder show last week after his owner decided that enough was enough! He was adopted six years ago after his previous owner couldn’t cope with him any more. So they parted ways and tortoise came to live with the couple who took him into their new home.
Naughty Tortoise Ruling the Roost
It seems that he has well and truly taken over as boss of the house and is constantly trouble making. The couple have cats so bossy-boots decided he was taking them over. He started pushing the three cats out of the way to get the warmest place in front of the fire. He climbs in and out of the cat flap and bullies the seagulls by chasing them off. A right little guard dog isn’t he! Seagulls normally chase people off, not the other way round. When a tortoise frightens a gull, whatever next!
He’s also a very fussy eater is this little monkey, and particular about what he is served. His owners made a run in the garden for him, worried that seagulls would fancy him as a snack. But that didn’t work did it, oh no. He made short work of the run and probably thought he wasn’t going to be cooped up anywhere!
Elasticated legs!
It seems that he also loves climbing, which is no easy task for a tortoise believe me. They stretch their little legs out of their shells and they seem to be elasticated when they suddenly stretch to their full length. Usually they flop back down as their rigid body doesn’t lend itself to climbing. Maybe he had been a mountaineer in a past life, who knows.
He decided to climb into the washing machine didn’t he, why I’m not sure, unless he was ready for a good bath. The trouble with that was it must have been closed before they noticed him. As a result, the owner had to smash the glass door to get him out, as some washers don’t have a cancel button to override the lock. I wouldn’t have been amused at that one I must say, although he obviously couldn’t stand a boil wash, several rinses and a fast spin, to be fair.
Not happy with that being smashed, he then turned his attention to the glass table. When he saw his reflection in it and thought it was another tortoise, my, he must have been feeling randy. Nothing frightens the little thing because as we all know, a tortoise shrivels up back into its shell at the least little thing. Well Herbert the tortoise never ever pulls back into his shell so he obviously thinks he is the boss and a hero where nothing scares him. What a guy!
Appearing on Judge Rinder
A video showing Herbert’s skill was seen by Judge Rinder who invited him and his owner to appear on his show. If you don’t know, real cases are presented to him, he tries them and delivers a verdict. His owner was hoping that he’d be found guilty and they’d be able to claim damages from his previous owner to make up for his non-stop trouble causing.
But that wasn’t to be, as the judge ruled he’d been with these owners for far too long and she’d kept Herbert for too many years to claim. His owner declared that, in spite of everything and the bother he causes, they loved him dearly as he’s such a character.
My own not-so-naughty Tortoise
It took me back to owning my own tortoise in the days when you could. He was called Chippy. I know, it’s a bit of a daft name. But my mum wouldn’t allow me to have furry or feathered animals in the house as she was a severe asthmatic. She’d only let me have Chippy as he was hard backed. I dearly wanted a dog. She always said that when I got married I could have one which I did, and have never been without a dog the rest of my life.
She was scared of dogs after having been bit by one as a child and always said she wouldn’t come and see us if we got one. That wasn’t stopping me as I knew she would fall in love with our first Cavalier King Charles spaniel which she did. Who couldn’t love a puppy, they are adorable. I had the same performance every time I got a new dog but that didn’t stop me, no way.
My hard backed friend
Anyway, back to my hard backed friend. He could run like mad and had a pen on the grass for when it was nice. I often sneaked him into the house. But when he kept leaving his white, runny deposits everywhere (as they poo and wee in one go) he kept being put back outside by my mum. You couldn’t cuddle a tortoise like you can a dog. Nonetheless, I grew to love that little thing and have loved any animals from then on.
Sadly he died one Winter in hibernation which was horrible to find. Then I then pestered my mum for a horse (I was horse mad) to keep in our garden shed. She said a firm ‘NO’ so that scotched that idea, even though I nagged persistently. Thank goodness she did or I’d have had the garden overrun by horses. Oh my goodness, imagine all that manure for dad’s roses!
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