If you read my blogs regularly you’ll know that we’re an irreverent bunch here at Chrissie Towers… So you won’t be surprised at today’s blog being about divorce or hanging!
But first, just quickly. The other day we were sitting at the table, talking as we usually do while having a meal, and something was said. I can’t even remember what, but anyway I answered. Kevin cracked out laughing at me, and told me I was so funny.
I looked at him and said ‘why’, to which he said ‘you are, all the time’.
Funny Ha-ha or Funny Doolally?
I didn’t like asking if he thought I was funny ha-ha or in the head – doolally might cover it. But no, he didn’t think I was going off my head, as I’m already there. So I asked him again what kind of funny I was. He said I was, because I made him laugh at some of the things I come out with.
I had a think and realised he probably had a point, as I come out with some very dry things without even thinking, cue for Kevin to laugh at me! It’s not intentional, it’s just me. As long as I can make people laugh, it’s even more OK with me, although he does crack out laughing at me a lot!
Front to Back
I also tend to get things back to front when I’m speaking. When someone asks me a question, I nearly always say ‘yes’ when it should be a ‘no’ and ‘no’ when it should be a ‘yes’.
Then I make myself look stupid as it sounds like I’ve made the wrong decision, if you know what I mean!
Ah well, I’m a bit long in the tooth by now to change my ways of thinking. Is there any wonder they think I’m a bit ‘not all there’!
Onto the Divorce or Hanging…
Anyway, Sunday morning came, and a busy one it usually is. After doing her jobs, Jane took Kevin into the garden and asked him to help her attack the shrubs and trees. It’s easier to do before they come into full leaf.
It’s far too much for Jane to do all the cutting back and deadheading on her own. She’s a chip off the old block and is taking after yours-truly with the arthritic pains, especially her wrists. So I told her to ask the men, or just Kevin, as hubby’s not been too sparkling lately either.
Not being able to resist her feminine guile of ‘come and help me or else’ (just joking… I think) off he went to do the deed.
Divorce is easier than hanging…
I popped down the garden to see what was what, to find Kevin up a ladder doing something with a tree and twine. Jane was right below him, pushing the bushes back to the fence.
I learnt later he was pulling the rope round the tree with Jane holding the bushes in place to make sure that as it was going round, and the trees wouldn’t slip out of the main rope.
I hope you’re following this as it’s not easy to describe. But anyway, he was telling this while eating our lunch sitting around the table. It seems that Kevin had started to pull the rope and at the same time was pulling it like a drawstring around her neck. He’s dragging her into the big rope while tightening her up and dragging her forwards into the tree.
Jane was doing all the actions when they were telling us the story with her hands round her throat mimicking being strangled and dragged at the same time. Now I know couples get divorced, but there are other better ways of getting rid of a spouse than strangling them with garden rope!
Kevin was killing himself with laughing by this time, as he’d not realised she was hanging herself with his help.
Zzzz…
This shows how daft I am. While typing this blog I could feel my eyes getting heavier and heavier and the next thing I knew I….
Had dozed off with my hands on the keys. Only to waken up a few minutes later with four rows of commas, dashes, digits. And would you believe a row of z’s. Maybe that was z for snoozing, who knows, but how appropriate is that.
I did waken up, just. Just in time to have the cup of tea that hubby made me. I’d better stop now before I end up erasing all the blog about Divorce or Hanging and having to curse!
While you’re here…
Join me on social media – www.Facebook.com/ChrissieBlogger and @ChrissiesBlog
See the homepage of the Visit Fylde Coast website for more of the latest updates.
Love the Fylde Coast? Sign up for your weekly email newsletter. Packed full of interesting things it arrives in your inbox all 52 weeks of the year.
Join the Visit Fylde Coast Facebook Group and you can follow us on Twitter @visitFyldeCoast
