Dogs and fireworks – hasn’t it been awful this last week during bonfire season. My poor dogs, one especially, was scared out of his wits by all the noise, especially the ones that sound like a bomb going off. They should be banned.
Some idiot started at 11.45pm last Wednesday when everyone was asleep. The bomb ones exploded, one after another. I don’t think it should be allowed. I know it will go on and on for a few days as the idiots don’t seem to know that bonfire night has finished!
A Bonfire Season Birthday
It was Kevin’s birthday on the 5th so we never forget what day it is, as if.
It was a quiet day with overcast skies and an eerie stillness with hardly a bit of wind, but we made the best of it that you can under the circumstances.
Jane made him his favourite meat and potato pie which is a tradition for him. That’s always what he wants for his dinner on his birthday, so he gets what he wants!
It’s hard to believe that so many years and birthdays have passed us by. We start one week, blink, and it’s the start of another. I want it to slow down at my age not speed up!
The Price of Eggs
Anyway, I’m going to share something funny with you that I did the other day. I must have been having a very senior moment to do what I did, it was so stupid.
As you may know, since the lockdown, we have been having our shopping delivered by Sainsbury’s. We usually book a 1-2pm Tuesday slot so the last time to change the order is 11pm on Monday, the day before it’s delivered.
Jane does the bulk of the list to book the delivery and I go through it and add or take away what I want or don’t want. We could do with a hen coop in our house the amount of eggs we get through for one reason or another. So instead of our usual dozen eggs, we needed another half dozen. All went well with the other things I wanted to add until I must have had a brain storm or something.
I went to the eggs, and of course you get a picture and write up of the product. In my elderly state of idiocy, my mind said that’s eighteen eggs instead of twelve. So I bet you can guess where I’m going with this one can’t you…
Lay a little egg for me…
That’s right, I clicked on the number I wanted, not thinking what I was doing. Well, there weren’t any half dozen eggs showing, so off I went, with my brain switched off (that’s what must have happened, I hope) and clicked on eighteen.
Yes, I ordered eighteen boxes of a dozen eggs, something like over two individual hundred eggs. The penny still didn’t drop until much later.
With the rest of the house fast asleep, I was sat in bed doing crosswords. All of a sudden, at 11.45pm, I shot up about a foot in the air with my eyes out on stalks, realising with a great big shock what I’d done. Talk about feeling absolutely stupid. I wondered how I was going to confess to that one without looking as though I’d completely lost the plot. I felt a right idiot I can tell you.
Anyway, there wasn’t anything I could do at that time of night as it was past the 11pm deadline anyway. So I knew I was going to have to confess to my ‘egg thing’ which I knew I would never live down.
Egg-septionally Funny
I was dead right about that one. The following morning, Jane came toddling in to say good morning with her best ‘I don’t feel well at all’ look (which she didn’t, another migraine).
So I owned up to her about the fact that we were going to have a kitchen full of egg boxes, complete with a million eggs. Well maybe not that many but you know what I mean. Even we couldn’t use that many eggs before the expiry date ran out.
All of a sudden, she erupted into the biggest guffaws you’ve ever heard, she was deafening as only Jane can do when she is very, very amused. She couldn’t stop laughing at me. I was looking at her as if to say ‘don’t beat me and send to me bed without any supper’. Meanwhile she could be heard chortling all over the house at what her good old mum had done.
Of course she couldn’t wait to tell the men, who immediately did the same and laughed their heads off. They could have got the job of the clown in the Pleasure Beach, I can tell you. As I thought, especially the first day, was full of egg jokes at my expense, so I just had to grin and bear it.
Um, can you take them back please?
I did think that it’s a wonder someone didn’t ask if it was a rather large amount of eggs to order in one go. But they didn’t so the delivery man turned up with a crate of eggs. So before he unloaded them Kevin confessed and told him that we didn’t want them.
Sadly, he was a bit dour and didn’t seem to have a tickled bone in his body. So he put them back on the van and with his little machine, immediately refunded the extra money. (The loaf was squashed flat!)
‘Thank goodness for that’ I thought. In my mind I saw eggy meringues, omelettes, boiled eggs, fried eggs, coddled eggs, poached eggs and all the other things we use eggs for.
Imagine them, all over the kitchen worktops to eat one at a time. In fact, Jane could have baked for a month, all through bonfire season. I felt sick at the thought of it! But all’s well that ends well and it was worth the senior moment just for the laugh we had!
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