Tram, Smash, Wallop

Tram, Smash, Wallop

Tram, Smash, Wallop seems an appropriate title for today’s blog. It starts at Tram Sunday and ends up in a heap underneath the ladders…

Derek and Jane took themselves off to Fleetwood at the weekend for Tram Sunday. Kevin has been working all hours and is trying to get some gardening jobs done while it’s the weekend. We never seem to be able to get round to doing things in the house these days as our office is always busy-busy.

Hubby didn’t do too bad, I expected him to come home like a washed out Mary Anne as we say, as he’s not at his fittest at the moment. They were full of it and had taken millions of photos. (Well, OK, a lot then).

Take a look at photos and video from Fleetwood Tram Sunday 2019

I think Jane had spent the afternoon looking for animals (like she does). Apparently she took a shine to the police horses. Thank goodness she didn’t bring one home!

Police horses at Tram Sunday
Police horses at Tram Sunday

Kevin and I weren’t really bothered about going again. I for one wanted to get my jobs done that I haven’t got round to, and I just didn’t fancy fighting through the crowds when it’s warm. My deputy brought me a cuppa anyway, isn’t that nice of him, looking after the elderly!! So I finished the ironing while Kevin cut the grass and cleaned out the pond filters. Oh what joy!

Onto the Smash and the Wallop…

Having said that, we have a lot to be grateful for, as things could have been so much worse in our mad house the day before.

We took a vote on going out, having a walk, or doing some much needed jobs in the garden. Have you noticed at this time of year, you turn around and everything in the garden has grown by at least ten feet? We seem to do nothing but chop things down before we need a machete to get it under control, and I’m not joking!

Gentle Dead Heading…

Anyway, off we all went into the garden. Derek and I went into the front where I instructed him on the gentle art of dead heading. I tried to do some, until after literally five minutes when my hands packed in. Not wanting to scream my head off when people were enjoying a leisurely stroll on the sea front, I thought I’d better not do it or who else would get the tea ready!

So I set hubby off with the secateurs and told him to get cracking on the woody stuff that really needed a man round it, and off he went. We just about filled the green bin, well he did, I can’t take the credit for that. But when he went into the back garden for some string, he came back saying that Kevin had fallen off the ladders.

Knowing that Jane and her dad aren’t good at coping in a crisis, I asked if he was ok. Or did he need me, Florence Nightingale, to go and give him some TLC. Hubby said he was sitting on the floor laughing and wasn’t hurt as such so I didn’t bother. Especially when Jane didn’t come hurtling into the front garden to tell me she was about to faint with the shock!

…or Wallop onto the floor!

Eventually I got round to the back garden and found out what had happened.

Jane had wanted some high up branches chopping off so he had foolishly lent the ladder against the tree. Yes, you are right if you are thinking what I was, that he shouldn’t have leant the ladders on a tree that he was lopping down. The obvious happened, the branch broke under his and the ladders weight, and Kevin fell backwards with the ladders on top of him!

Not only that he fell from quite a height and landed on a sharp corner of some paving flags. How on earth he landed without serious damage I don’t know, but he did. I told him someone must be looking after him. He’s like a cat – only I think he’s got more than nine lives.

None of us could believe that he hadn’t done any damage, but he hasn’t a mark on him except a bruise on his arm.

Mr Health & Safety

The odd thing is, we are always batting on about health and safety in our house, especially where Kevin is. He doesn’t seem to think before he does something. Against advice (many years ago) he once started taking nails out of a plank and in completely unsuitable shoes stood on a rusty one which went straight into his foot! He’s had shocks and missed being electrocuted I don’t know how many times.

But when it comes to us, he’s always telling us to be careful of this, that and the other until he drives us mad. Goodness knows how his mind works, as we don’t.

So apparently, there was Kevin, laid out on the lawn with the ladders on top of him and Jane asked him if he wanted a cup of tea! Of course, we all fell about laughing at that he could have done a serious damage and she wanted to get him a cup of tea for shock. (Jane: To be fair it wasn’t quite like that. We’d already established that nothing was broken and he didn’t need an ambulance. Some minutes later I told him to sit down and asked if he wanted a brew).

Revenge is a dish best served cold

She was probably getting her own back, because when we were in Cornwall one year when we were all a lot younger, Jane felt terribly sick. So what did Kevin say, ‘do you want an ice cream’ and he meant it. So that’s what we all say when someone feels really sick, it’s become a family joke. He meant well but who asks someone if they want an ice cream when they’re on the verge of being sick!

Vegan raspberry ripple ice cream from the New Penny of Poulton
Vegan raspberry ripple ice cream from the New Penny of Poulton

Anyway, back to the fall. All Kevin thought was thank goodness the hawthorne branches full of spikes had been moved or he would have looked  like a pin cushion! We can all laugh now but it could have been so different if it had gone the other way. While he was cleaning the pond filter and cutting the grass I popped out to make sure he’d not had an electric shock or drowned in the pond!!

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