Pampering Adult Children

Pampering Adult Children

Did you know that parents are spending on average, £1,600 on pampering adult children, who come back to live at home after they’ve left ‘the nest’.

Mums and dads fork out for food and bills while their offspring are with them, usually on average about 10 months. Although a lot stay for ages – can you blame them when mum and dad are daft enough to fork out for their boomerang children!

Really Pampering Adult Children…

Did you know that:

  • 44% of parents have cut back on holidays and luxuries as a result of over-indulgence to their kids.
  • 4.5 million return to their parents to save their cash as the cost of living rises.
  • Almost half pay no rent with the average of those who do pay being £212 a month.
  • Sixty per cent of parents cook meals for their adult kids and do their washing.
  • A third take them a morning cuppa and make their beds!
  • More than half of parents do their laundry.
  • A lot of parents update their home for the child returning, often re-decorating their bedrooms and updating their wi-fi.

As a result, with more and more kids going back to mum and dad, they’re leaving parents scraping the barrel after helping them out.

There’s no Pampering Adult Children here!

Before I go any further, you probably know that we all live together and are thinking I’ve got double standards. But that’s the point, we live together. We share the cost of everything between our two couples, and we have a division of labour that plays to each of our abilities. It’s always been like this for us, back to the word dot.

So I must say that words fail me, how daft are they? It’s a good job my kids didn’t come back to me expecting an easy ride or I would be the cruellest mother walking. For a start, they would be making me a morning cuppa and decorating my bedroom for me, not the other way round.

If they are working, what’s wrong with paying for their own food and contributing to the household bills, as they don’t stop eating if they live alone do they! I’d see it as a chance, after raising them for donkey years, to tell them to put the kettle on. And while they’re at it, make the meals.

I wonder if they could be persuaded to do the washing. After all, it’s not difficult to put it in the washer and turn the switch on is it. Although remind them to put the soap powder in, because if they aren’t used to having to put their dirty clothes in the washer, they might not know they need to use washing powders, liquids, flumps or whatever you prefer.

As for up-dating the home and doing up their bedrooms for them, do they think their offspring are royalty or something? Surely they know what their parents house was like before they left home? If it’s not good enough, stick a paint brush, roller and a can of paint in their hands and tell them to get going.

As for parents  putting themselves into a position where they aren’t exactly flush with money, if their kids are working why can’t they contribute to their parents for being good enough to take them back. Never mind expect them to go back to their childhood where mum and dad had no choice but to do all that for them for free. It strikes me that parents are a bit daft for doing all this. It doesn’t do their children much good in my opinion, to think that it doesn’t matter to put a financial strain on their parents and take their quiet life away from them.

Cruella De Ville – that’s me!

I know, I’m the cruellest parent that walked. But you know what they say, you have to be cruel to be kind, well that’s me.

My daughter thinks I was awful because I wouldn’t let her have Polyveldt shoes when she was at school as ALL her friends had them. Plus all the rest that I was cruel enough to deprive her of, isn’t that terrible.

Clarks Polyveldt shoes
Clarks Polyveldt shoes

I explained to her at the time that over £30 for shoes was a lot of money to me in those days and wasn’t going to happen. She would have to be impoverished and deprived, the poor thing! The trouble was she needed an adults size rather than a kids that all her friends did fit into, and there was a considerable jump in price. So it was hard lines for Jane!

I stopped short of making her life a misery every day of the week, by teaching her how to share, how to budget and generally how to go through life and become a better person in spite of her mean mum. She is now a beautiful, well balanced daughter who can budget like an accountant, value the important things in life, how to be thoughtful and kind and all the rest that she does.

As a result, I look at her and think that all my stinginess and all the things that seemed hard to her at the time, even though there was a full explanation for why and how, have paid off and she is a daughter in a million.

So to all the parents who are pandering to their adult children, I ask, what did you do wrong as they were growing up that they think it’s ok to take their parents for granted? They may seem harsh words to some people, but I would still do the same if I had  to bring children up today. Life isn’t a freebie all the way, you have to pay your way through life, not depend on others. Giving kids everything they want just sets them up for a lifetime of hardship when they find out it all has to be earned!

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