You know how I keep saying that life in our house is mad, well here’s one or two examples of what we have been up to again.
Life in Our House is Mad!
At the weekend, Jane was in the garden, washing the birds water saucers out as she does. She went to turn the tap on to give them a good scrub as you are supposed to (they do get rather grotty and full of bacteria). All of a sudden there was this huge scream which sent me running out to see if she had fallen in the pond or something. She was screaming at the top of her voice ‘Kevin stop leaving the lock on the hose pipe when you’ve finished using it’.
Bearing in mind that Kevin was nowhere to be seen, and she was yelling at the top of her voice, I was telling her to stop before the neighbours came round with a bucket of water to shut her up! As it happens, I’m not surprised she was yelling as the front of her body was saturated. Even her face and hair had clobbered it. Kevin turned up out of the blue, laughing all over his face which of course did nothing to calm her down. Instead he told her he was heartbroken and went inside clutching his chest and staggering at what was his broken heart. Of course, Kevin and I cracked out laughing which made her yell even more. She did eventually see the funny side of being soaked wet through although I bet he doesn’t leave the lock on again!
Half and Half Banshee
The same day, Jane was cleaning her teeth, standing in front of her bedroom window and looking into the garden as she likes to do. When all of a sudden there was another almighty yell as she charged out of the house at 100 miles an hour.
The culprit was that blooming cat which has tried to kill all our garden plants and birds, sitting right on the hedge opposite her bedroom staring at her. I don’t know if it was taunting her with its ‘can’t get me I’m too high up’ face, but she certainly shot down the garden with Kevin laughing at her.
When I got there, there she was, toothbrush in hand, in her T-shirt and knickers, as she was just getting into the bath when she’d finished her teeth. Kevin and I once again couldn’t stop laughing as she flew into a rage. Kevin added a bit more fuel to the fire as he said ‘well the cat will definitely scarper if it sees you dressed like that!’
Goodness knows what the neighbours must have thought if they’d been listening to her (thankfully no one can actually see into our garden). They probably thought they were lining up for a divorce or something with the racket that was going on. I can assure them that she doesn’t usually carry on like that outside, she just saves it for inside. Sorry Jane, only kidding!
Watch the Birdie
Then the other morning, I could hear gales of laughter coming from the end of the corridor, well it’s better than screaming in the garden isn’t it. There’s a run of windows the full width of their bedroom with drawers underneath. There she was leant on the top of the cupboards, sprawled out like a flat fish with her head hanging out of the window. As she got up and closed the window she said ‘ohhhh’.
Kevin had popped his head through the door to ask a question and, bemused, was watching this weird behaviour. So instead he asked her if she was going to jump out and commit hari kari (or however you spell it) until he realised the window is about three feet away from the floor. It turned out that she was watching a poorly pigeon who had been under the window for the last couple of days to see if it was any better. It’s funny because the first thing I said was was she going to jump, which made us all laugh again at the thought of it. It’s a tilt and turn window which opens like a door so there she was, half in and half out of it which she obviously thought was easier than going outside to it!
(Punchline to the pigeon, after feeding it and letting it rest it seems to have flown off, recuperated to coo another day).
Half and Half (again)
I’ve told you before that life in our house is mad, well on Wednesday morning, there I was in the kitchen doing what I do, when the doorbell rang. We have a different bell for the front to the back to avoid confusion. But I must have been confused as I ran to the front door, nobody there, then to the back door to see who had descended on us. There was Brett from Radio Lancashire standing in the pouring rain when the penny dropped with a clang. I realised Jane was doing an interview with him about her invention of the crate on the beach which has had nearly 300,000 people following it on Facebook!
She’d told me he was coming and had obviously forgotten, as I had. She was in another room doing some cleaning up, still in the bottom half of her pyjamas! Her face was a picture when she realised that she’d forgotten he was coming. I’d let the poor man inside out of the teeming rain, and there she was in her glory, hair done, T-shirt on again, plus jim jam bottoms!
Advantages to Working at Home
It’s a good job he knows us well or he would be thinking he’d turned up to a loony bin, with Jane guffawing when she saw him. He took it all in his stride, probably thinking that he wasn’t surprised at anything in our house. She’d been upstairs working since 5am, and as her jim-jam’s were going in the wash, had left them on for comfort. There are many disadvantages to working at home, but (usually) no one seeing what you look like is one of the plus points!
This is a small look at the doziness that makes our household up. This is the kind of thing that’s going on all day everyday. But I’ll tell you what, I wouldn’t have it any other way!
While you’re here…
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