Today’s blog is a funny tale about cleaning with Chrissie. But before that, a word about the weather and the market.
So back come the strong winds again, but at least we’ve had some sunshine even though it’s cool in the shade. It’s a good job it wasn’t this windy for the market stalls on the Plaza at Cleveleys on Wednesday as it would have been, shall we say, a bit over the top – literally!
Derek went along to have a look at it after lunch as we haven’t been yet (they only let me out on a Friday) and he said it was good, and a good atmosphere too. Apparently it had been very busy in the morning, and I bet that’s because a lot of us oldies like to go shopping in the morning. Not me might I add, my mornings are spoken for doing everything to keep the house ticking over, busy, busy that’s me.
Having said that, the crew have been helping more and more as I have been in a lot of pain this past few weeks, so I have been glad of that help. I trained them well, especially Kevin who, when he came to live with us didn’t know one end of a duster from another. I think he thought my vacuum cleaner was a Dalek from Dr Who and avoided it like the plague, while trying to ignore it at the same time.
Cleaning with Chrissie
After quite a while of him sitting reading the paper while I was cleaning up, cooking a Sunday roast and all the other things us women do, I thought to myself, this has to stop. Maybe I envied the fact that he could sit down while someone else did the work and wished it was me. But anyway, I started to ‘educate’ him in life with the Littlewood’s! I started off gradually by introducing dusters, window cleaning stuff, brushes, buckets of water. You know the drill, until I had his eyes popping out of his head as if to say ‘you expect me to know what to do with that lot!’ Of course, he didn’t jump up and immediately know how to clean, it took quite a while and a few choice hints until he got the message which he did, reluctantly I might add.
He worked at the computer centre for HSBC and always worked shifts. They were the mainframe computers which were used worldwide which is why they worked shifts, as the bank obviously had to function day and night. So poor old Kevin tended to be at home more in the day while the others were out at work. By the time he left after more than 25 years he had the lofty title of ‘International Incident Manager’. It explains why he’s good at sorting things out, but not why he’s scatty…International Incident Manager
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t nag at him all the time, just some of it! Until he realised he was eating food, making a mess in the house etc as we all did, so in my logic everyone had a right to clear up the mess they made, don’t you think?
As for DIY, his skills were non existent. He couldn’t tell one end of a hammer from the other, that was until Derek stepped in and showed him what to do. Derek did all our DIY jobs then and now avoids them like the clappers! As the years went by, Kevin’s skills at looking after a house and DIY became wonderful. He learnt how to do a lot of things by practice, that is DIY, he didn’t do the cooking or ironing and things like that. Maybe it’s a good job because when we were in Yorkshire I was pretty ill one time and they (Jane and Kevin) were at work so Kevin decided to iron. Three pints of water and three hours later he had managed to complete the ironing. He’d done it really well but it was a long long time before he even could look at an ironing board without laughing!
All in all, he’s my second in command as Jane and her dad mange to completely switch off from things that need doing until I start to nag at them. As I keep saying, if they ever got divorced, it would be Jane who would have to go because Kevin is more useful around the house! Only joking of course as divorce would be the very last thing they’d do, but as long as they understand that if they do she goes, and he stays! Kevin is so much like me it’s untrue. There are so few things we haven’t got in common that I can count them on one hand. His taste, ways, likes, dislikes it is unbelievable and causes many laughs in our house. Jane is turning into Derek mark two as she has all her dads ways and habits and thinking.
Take yesterday for example. When we were in Marks on Friday they were selling off some sweets for £1 a packet and Jane just couldn’t resist. She bought a packet of peanut brittle and a box of peanut chocolates, which she and I tried yesterday afternoon. As usual, she preferred one, and I the other. Kevin and Derek were both in the office while this was going on, so after tea she gave him the Mr and Mrs quiz to see which he preferred. Just for a change he said the same as me, the chocolate, where she preferred the brittle!
Well you know what they say, opposites attract, well in this case, it’s mother and son and daughter and dad, how very strange. I hope you realise that all this is said in jest, it’s just how we are and can’t be helped!!!
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